A Thank You to all the Grandmothers

My grandmother on her wedding day.

High school senior picture of my grandmother.

My beautiful grandmother caring for my father.

My grandmother and me on my wedding day.

Today, I find myself missing my lovely grandmother so very much. I have not been home to see her for awhile now because of the military lifestyle and I fear it still might be some time before I can see her  beautiful face, a little worn from years but ever so much charming and graceful, still at age 74. Her past was not a laid-back one, being raised on a farm. She would often be the one to raise her other siblings and take care of her mother, after graduating high school while working long hours, when times were hard in America and jobs few. Growing up in poverty, others did not treat her so kind and she found herself the blunt of everyone’s jokes far too much, that is…. till my charming grandfather showed up in his pink convertible just to appease her and lure her in. My grandmother was not at all interested in men at the time and it was quite a challenge to catch her eye. Although she was born in poverty, she did not stay there. She took as many classes as she could find the time for, through out the years, while looking after her mother and working. Her struggles paid off and now she is working as a home health care nurse and has been for some time. She has influenced me more than any other woman on this planet for her strength and grace through the rough life that was bestowed on her. 

 At age 2, my parents unfortunately divorced. As the saying goes life does not always go as planned. We all believe it was for the best, although, I do not agree with divorce but do feel in some rare cases it is better then physical or emotional abuse. Divorce is far too easily accessible and mistaken for a way out of dealing with life’s changes and challenges that occur in everyone’s life. Saying we both have changed is not an excuse to end a promise or attachment for life. Please figure out if he/she is the one before you marry them, nothing should be rushed into or not given considerable amount of time to think over one’s thoughts and decisions. Divorce is emotionally scarring for everyone, including the children. The constant changing and adjusting from one environment to another is very difficult for children who come from a divorce family, especially, when they are young and blame themselves for the family’s problems. I did not have a wonderful mother and I felt a lot of times that I was not wanted or loved; these issues still haunt me today and are wounds that are hard to heal. My grandmother, having had to raise her own set of children, a boy and a girl, decided against all odds that she would fill the heavy shoes of being my sister and mines mother, and I will treasure her for all time for that decision.

 We have had our moments of frustration and anxiety, but is not that the case with every mother and daughter relationship? I truly can say I do not view her as a grandmother but a mother, for she was the one to wipe away my tears after falling out of a tree (as was often the case for being raised by a father and grandmother I could not help but to be a tom boy who was always getting into mischief), there to give comfort when I was alone and scared, and the one to teach me to stand up for myself and to never let anyone say I cannot. Life is blunt and unforgiving at times but when you look back you will find those, yes, who were unkind to you but dig a little deeper and there you will find always a kindred spirit, who saw you for whom you were, your possibilities and potential, and believed in you when it seemed that all hope had vanished.

 I just wanted so say thank you to all the grandmothers and to my own for being the light in your grandchildren’s lives when it seemed darkness was creeping behind us waiting for any possible sign to attack and smother us.